That’s right, we’re expecting. Just not in the way we “expected” the three precious kiddos who currently live in our home. God has called our family to make room for more. A child living in a city that feels like a million miles away, in need of a Mommy and Daddy, two sisters and a brother, will soon be ours forever!
But maybe I should go back and start from the beginning. Timothy and I were so excited to learn we were expecting Carson, our beautiful 10 year old daughter. Things went exactly as “planned”…we asked God to bless us with a baby and, 9 months later, she was in our arms. Parker, our (almost) 8 year old son, did not come into our family quite as easily. But, after 16 months (including 3 months of medication), we were expecting our precious, full of energy, boy! The road to expecting Emerson, our sweet baby, was filled with sadness and frustration. 1 miscarriage, 3 months of our “miracle medication”, which ultimately failed, and a fertility specialist telling us we would probably never conceive on our own (without their very expensive intervention) led to 15 months of me doubting that God would ever give us another baby blessing. And then He did! Our family has been blessed beyond measure by our spunky little Emerson. And then it became time for baby #4 (I am fully aware of how crazy I sound saying this. All I’ll say to justify is, everybody collects something ;-))!
Conceiving this time has taken double the time it took with #2 & #3. But this time it was different. God placed in us a quiet burden for orphans in Asia at the beginning of our wait to bring Emerson into our family. And, during the past 27 months, He has changed my heart’s desire to have another biological child to a longing to bring a child into our family who will need us as much as we will need him/her. This started as a quiet whisper and ended in a command that I could not have heard more loudly, even if it were audibly shouted at me. “I am calling you to adopt. Now. Not when it feels less scary. Not when it feels less overwhelming. Now.” Message received, loud and clear. And I was VERY pleased when I found out that God had been working on Timothy’s heart in the same way.
We have been to one information meeting, filled out a ton of paperwork, wrote our first check, and today, we received the email we’ve been waiting for. Our agency has approved our application and we will soon (1/17) meet to discuss our next steps (home study, etc.). We will be matched with a Waiting Child (boy or girl) with some sort of special need who will become our forever baby! EEEEKKKK!!!! We are thrilled, terrified, impatient, yet filled with peace. But, most of all, we are expecting.
– We are expecting to be stretched far beyond what we could have ever imagined. Loving a baby we cannot protect or comfort will be almost more than my heart can bear. I know this because I already feel like a Mommy to this child I have never seen.
– We are expecting the journey to be tough. “My friends, adoption is redemption. It’s costly, exhausting, expensive, and outrageous. Buying back lives costs so much. When God set out to redeem us, it killed Him.” – Derek Loux
– We are expecting to spend many nights wondering how we are going to fulfill the financial responsibilities required for the adoption. But we are also expecting to cast out those thoughts as Godless fear. Because, as we know, “perfect love casts out all fear”!
– And, lastly, we are expecting God to be steering our family’s ship and guiding us every step down our road to China. Those He calls He also equips, and we have faith that He plans to equip us in a big way to follow through with the mission He has called us to.
We are so blessed to have so many incredible people in our lives who, I know, will be there for us during this journey. And, believe me, we will need your help! First, and foremost, we will need your prayers. I covet your prayers for Timothy, Carson, Parker, Emerson, and me, but mostly for our precious baby. Please pray for protection, peace, and that he/she knows Mommy and Daddy are coming and are going to move mountains to get him/her home! Secondly, we are going to need some financial help. God saw our bank account when He stirred this passion in us, but He also saw all the amazing people we have in our lives who have a heart for orphans and seeing babies find forever families! Our first goal is $3,350 by 1/17. That’s 10 days from today. I pray that you will ask God if He is calling you to financially play a part in our adoption story. This could mean $1 or $1,000…but should not be 1 penny more than God has laid on your heart to give. And I can’t wait to tell our precious baby how many people prayed and helped us get him/her here, even before we had the honor of seeing his/her face.
It is with great expectation that I await the next step of our journey!
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